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How to deal with your shy nature?

By  Monisha Doley

I remember the time when I used to be a shy girl. I was very reserved and was never comfortable in a group conversation. I would be sitting quietly just with a smile all throughout. But one thing I started doing which helped me immensely in working on my shyness. Along with being shy, I am also observant by nature. I get intrigued by people who possess qualities that sometimes I don’t have. Having great conversation skills and public speaking skills were always in the top of my mind. I always knew it’s an area I want to work on myself. I was always inspired by people who possessed these qualities. Because I wasn’t born very extrovert in nature, I knew I have to work on it and find a way out.

Be less Judgemental:  What I learned from some people who talk a lot is they don’t care much about the quality of their conversation. They are less judgmental and analytical about the intelligence of what they are saying. They don’t think much before saying something. They don’t hold back their thoughts or words with the fear of being judged. They say whatever is coming in their mind spontaneously.

If you are shy, it’s not that you don’t know what to talk. There will be thoughts coming to your mind…but you start judging yourself before someone else does it. Your ego will be guiding you… “Ummm . . . may be what I have to say doesn’t make sense.” Or “Oh, it might be annoying.” and things like that. So you hold back and remain unnoticed in the group, waiting for the perfect words and things to come into mind. When you stop judging every word of yours, you will be able to naturally start a conversation or just join it.

Get Curious: There are so many people I know who can talk to anyone, no matter which field they come from. They might have zero knowledge about it, but they will be happily engaged in a deep conversation with someone who is completely different from them. Why is it so? Because they are curious by nature. People who are great conversationalist are also curious about knowing something new. If they happen to come across a group from a different industry, they will be asking a lot of questions. One thing leads to other and there’s a healthy exchange of information going on.

If you find yourself in a group and have no idea what they are talking about, you can start by asking them questions and also informing them you are completely new to the subject of discussion and would love to know more about it.

Trust me people love sharing knowledge. So it will be much more fun and easier than you think when you let go of your guard.

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